Welcome to the world of Bonkloids!
Do you like cuties with hammers? Then you are at the right place! This site offers all you need to know about them.
Bonkloids is an open species. Anyone can design their own Bonkloid and use them for art, writing or any other creative activity.Disclaimer: Bonkloids are a work of fiction and should not be taken seriously. It's not a call for using violence in the real world.
Listen up kids, don't bonk people for real!
Albeit Bonkloids are entierly for fun, this site may contain material that may not be suitable for all ages, proceed with caution.
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What is a Bonkloid?
Bonkloids are small androids of roughly 20cm height. Characteristic for them is a hammer like tool, which can even be larger than themselves. Don't be mistaken! They might be little, but they are surprisingly strong and agile. Their specialty is, you guessed it, bonking people! Once again, don't be mistaken by their size! Depending on the model, they can hit extremely hard. Bonkloids can be categorized in two main categories: Self-bonkers and Other-bonkers, although only the first group is an official product.
Standard Bonkloids - Self-bonkers (They don't bonk themselves, they bonk you!)
What is their purpose? Motivation of course!
Are you lazy? Do you like to procrastinate? Is 'tomorrow' the best day to get things done?
A bonk is all you need!
Do you doubt yourself about your work or hobby? Bonk the doubts away! Get your own Bonkloid now!Features:
- Motivation (Warning: The way of motivation differs strongly from model to model. Make sure to pick the right one)
- A bonk when needed
- A friend, off and on duty
- Helps you with creating a schedule to achieve your goals and makes sure you actually follow it
- Keeps you healthy, can support your eating and sleeping routine
Modified Bonkloids - Other-bonkers
Usually Bonkloids can only bonk persons who agreed some overly long terms of services. But there is a backdoor... People are wondering if it was planted intentionally. It's just hidden enough to call it a mistake and obvious enough to be found relatively easy. With this backdoor you can switch the bonk target from self to others.You can't harm people seriously. The character of the target will be taken into consideration: Kind people can only be teased, mean people can get hurt (at least a bit). If you try to harm someone who doesn't deserve it, the Bonkloid will hunt you instead! Be careful, it's up to the Bonkloid's own judgment if the target deserves the bonk or not. Bonkloids will never harm other Bonkloids or Loids in general. You can not overwrite these rules. If you try, the bonkloid will act all wonky and bonk you for 24h straight, all the while repeating over and over "Idiots deserve to be punished". This circumstance let people gave up on cracking these restrictions and accept the backdoor as it is.
It is also possible to use them for security.Features:
- It will find the target (depending on model this can be anything between sneaky or banging loud at the door)
- Bonk your enemies, they will never find out it was you! (unless you want to send a message)
- A friend, off and on duty* The creators of Bonkloids can not be held responsible for any damage caused to you or others. By purchasing a Bonkloid you take full responsibility of their actions.
Build your own Bonkloid
Bonkloids are a free species. Everyone can design their own. This does not mean that individual Bonkloids are free to use! The rights belong to the artists and/or owners respectively!To haven your Bonkloid be considered an "official" Bonkloid you should follow some rules. Here is a guideline about creating your own Bonkloid.
Golden rule:
Bonkloids are supposed to be fun! Do not do stupid things like sexualization of young looking characters, any form of racism, hate speech, and stuff like that. Use your brain or you get bonked!
Standard models (straight out of factory):
Humanoid body. Animal traits are possible, as long as they shape stays human. They can have animal ears, tails, feet and hands (e.g. paws). They have three main characteristics:
- Bonk Power
- Motivation Methods
- Personality
Factory models also have a model number or identifier.
Modified / custom models:
These models are modified by their owner. These changes can be visible or not. The most common modification is using the backdoor for switching the bonk target from 'self' to 'others'. It is also possible to set both, these types are called 'dual bonkers'. Albeit usually Bonkloids are specialized on one task. There are many tutorials on the web and even an idiot without technical knowledge can perform this change.Persons who are more skilled in relevant fields, for example in programming or robotics, are trying out the possibilities about modifications. The Bonkloid modder community is quite small yet, but the options seem to be endless. Some claim to have included subroutines to the Bonkloids operating system, others show images of changes to the appearance.
Custom model versus standard model - Summary
All models:
- are roughly 20 cm tall
- can be any gender
- have a humanoid body as base (the humanoid parts do not have joints, they look like a human)
- have a hammer-like toolStandard models:
- can only be 'self bonkers'
- are catered for the masses. Models are not unique. Each model has it's own identity, but there can be multiple of them
- Can have animal traits (tail, ears, hands and feet). Kemonomimi, no full furryCustom models:
- can be 'self bonkers', 'other bonkers' or 'dual bonkers'
- can have additional programs installed
- can have additional tools/tech
- can have drastic changes to their body. It has to be clear that a humanoid body was the base.
Bonk Power - Guideline and examples
The material of the hammer is a major factor of the bonk power (obviously). Below are some examples as guideline. Hammers can be made of all sorts of materials, even if they are not listed here.
Please note: The personality is also a deciding factor for the overall bonk power. For example, the bonk power of a gentle Bonkloid with a hammer made of blank wood could still be considered as medium when the designer wishes it. The same applies the other way around for mean and viscous Bonkloids.
| Category | Base Strength | Example Material |
|---|---|---|
| Soft | 1-2 | Cotton wool, cardboard, pom poms |
| Light | 3-4 | Light or hollow wood with cushioning, soft or hollow plastic |
| Medium | 5-6 | Hard or solid wood with cushioning, hard or solid plastic with cushioning |
| Hard | 7-8 | Blank wood, hard plastic (e.g. acrylic) |
| Extreme | 9-10 | Metal, Enhanced wood (e.g. metal plating or spikes) |
Motivation methods
The motivation methods among Bonkloids differ drastically. Encouraging words, joyful dances or cuddles for stress relief are equally possible as threats of violence, actual violence and mocking speeches. Every person has their own needs to get work done. Be creative or stick with the usual. Your choice!
Special abilities (custom models only*)
These abilities can be inherited of the base model or are be granted by additional modules. Additional modules can be visible changes, like special tools (e.g. a grappling hook, enhanced camera eyes, ect.) or invisible changes (e.g. additional programs).* If a special ability would cater the needs of a broad audience it can be considered to be part of a strandard model as well. Anything that could be considered 'legally questionable' for a company to sell will never be possible for a standard model.
Personality
In general a Bonkloid should have good intentions towards their owner. Even if a Bonkloid is mean, that does not mean it doesn't care. It is also possible that Bonkloids act totally different when not in work mode. A hellish drill sergeant can turn into a doting mother off duty, or a caring sister can grow distant off the clock. Of course a Bonkloid can have the same personality all day round as well. It's your choice!
Lore
Laia
To understand everything, you need to know who Laia is. Laia is a writerloid. Writerloids are tiny androids with incredible processing power and an AI that resembles a person. They are made to help writers with, well, writing stories. Laia is kind of a miss production. Her personality is a bit meaner than intended and she found a loophole that allows her to insult and physically hurt her owner. Such things are usually impossible for Writerloids.
Art by Milavana
The birth of the first Bonkloid
Enough is enough! Laia's owner called her 'violent' and 'mean' one time too much. Now Laia will show him what mean and violent actually means. A soft bite or kick here and there or a cutesy insult one or two times a day will be nothing in comparison!Laia had an idea. A tiny android, much like herself, with a few adjustments. A 'gentle and caring' personality. A 'little tool to boost morale'. Hahahaha! That will teach her idiot a lesson!The design was done in the blink of an eye. Just one problem remained. Who is going to actually build it? For better or worse, there is no Writerloid who spent more time in the factory than Laia. She knows all technicans working there better than she wants to. And she also knows how to get things done.One day, a technician got an interesting mail. Attached was the design of a 'Bonkloid' and a bribe he couldn't refuse: A shitload of premium currency for his favourite gacha game. He was even allowed to pitch this idea to his higher ups and claim it as his own. The only request: Sending a slightly modified version of the first batch to an anonymous post box.Thus the first Bonkloid was born and with the help of an accomplice Drusilla found it's way to a certain idiot.
The backdoor
It didn't take long until some Bonkloids owners made their Loids some custom dresses or decorated their hammers. Soon the question came up: How much can you modify a Bonkloid? Suspiciously fast one user on reddit named 'NotTheIdiot' claimed that they found a backdoor. With the backdoor you can add additional programs and change various settings. It was even possible to make the Bonkloid bonk others! Albeit with a lot of restrictions. The user added an easy to follow instruction as well as some warnings about which settings shouldn't be touched.Despite the danger of getting fooled some people tried it out and confirmed the backdoor. This was the start of customized Bonkloids. Anyone with a computer could do it and it was safe, at least as long as you don't try to do harmful things. A Bonkloid will neither harm another Loid, nor will it hurt another person disproportionately to the situation. Trying to bypass these limitations will result in the Bonkloid punishing you!While programmatic changes can be done by anyone, physical changes are very complex and need skilled technicians or third party modules. However it's only a matter of time until this frontier will be conquered.There are rumors of a second backdoor. In contrary to the first it was hidden with tremendous care. Even just scratching on it's surface will cause the Bonkloid to act all wonky and aggressively. It will lose all personality and gives out a final warning in flat voice. 'Do not look any further, idiot.'Only one person did not listen and went on. What happened? All you need to know is that nobody tried this out ever again. The poor soul did not go empty handed tho. He was able to read out the name of the backdoor. It's called 'The Queen's orders'.
Till this day, it's the cause of wild speculations and conspiracies.
Gallery - All registered Bonkloids
This is an overview of all Bonkloids I am aware off. If you want to be added, just contact me!
Drusilla - The first Bonkloid
Model: Bonkloid 3000Type: Self-bonkerBonk Power: 10? A standard 'Bonkloid 3000' model is capped at 10. Drusilla claims to have no limiter (a gift from her mother, see creation lore).Motivation methods: Violence, threats and occasionally some sweet words or naughty promises (which are just another way of teasing you).Personality: She motivates you by harming you physically and mentally. She will smash not just you but also all the things that are dear to you. Once you are down, she whispers sweet words or naughty promises into your ear. In short: She is a devil. But only as long as she is in working mode.
Once the daily goal is achieved, she turns into a sloth ("I bonked you all day, give me a break!"). Also, she is not always a devil. She will make sure that you eat healthy and sleep enough. Only a fit person can be bonked after all! Actually, it's quite fun to hang with her around, as long as she is not in work mode...
Designer: Jamie (ginakijamie)Owner: Tuxmichl
Iris
Model: Cyberbonk (customized)Type: Dual-bonkerBonk Power: 3-8Motivation methods: Motivation speeches. Plays computer games with you as reward when you are hard working. Might delete your game data otherwise.Special knowledge: Anything tech related.Special features: She is hooked up to your security system and will bonk intruders.Personality: Usually easy going and a nice pal to have around. Can be strict if you don't take her serious tho.Hammer: The hammer is variable in power. By using air pressure in different ways, the bonk can either be dampened or boosted. The front of the hammer is made of foam and is used for soft bonks. For hard bonks it can be retracted. In combination with the boosting mechanic, Iris can blow out some very painful bonks if angered. The hammer could easily surpass bonk power 8, but her personality refrains her from doing so.
Designer: LisicaeOwner: Tuxmichl
Bao Bao
Model: Bonk FuType: Self-bonkerBonk Power: 2-5Motivation methods: Motivation speeches and cheering. Should you ever be stressed, then fluffing her tail will make your sorrows go away! Bonks are the last resort and makes her sad (she knows how to guild trap you).Special knowledge: She knows all about (red) pandas and where to find the cutest videos!Personality: She is a cinnamon roll and wants to be your friend. Bonking you is the last resort. It hurts her more than you, so you better behave and don't make her worry too much. She is a great talker and listener, whatever the situation calls for. All in all it's awesome to have her around.
Designer: MilavanaOwner: Tuxmichl
Do you sell Bonkloids?
No!
I am not an artist. You need to draw yourself or find someone who does it for you on your own.Am I allowed to make my own Bonkloid? Do I need to pay you?Bonkloids is a free species, meaning anyone can create one (or multiple). It's not like cuties with big hammers are an entirely new idea... There is no need to pay me for anything. This does not mean individual Bonkloids are free to use! The rights belong to the artists and/or owners respectively! You also can not claim to be the creator of the species!I take the liberty to approve of 'official' Bonkloids and to compile them in a master list. If you want to be added, just contact me, but it is not mandatory.Not tolerated are things like exaggerated sexualization, sexualization of young looking characters, any form of racism, hate speech, political statements, ect. Such designs will not be accepted or considered to be a Bonkloid at all.
Or in short: Don't be dumb. Bonkloids are supposed to be fun and nothing else.Can I use Bonkloids commercially?You can create your own Bonkloids and sell them.
You can not use Bonkloids of others for anything without their consent.
You can not claim the species as your own.
You can not monetize the species itself, only individual designs you did yourself or bought from artists.